What Moves Me?

Buon Giornio!  Wow... What has been on my mind you might ask?  So very much.  In the last week the American government has issued a travel alert to all American citizens to be conscientious of all the terrorist threats throughout the world.  It has my head spinning.  I honestly am at a loss for words.  Should I let a fear tactic dictate my decisions moving forward?  Is that how I want to live my life?  Isn't that what they want?  Is that stupid of me?  I exhaust myself with thoughts on this subject and what I should do with the info moving forward.  I want to be smart but I don't want this to ruin a once in a lifetime experience for Brent and I.  I still haven't come to a conclusion but hopefully with the help of my family and my program I can make an informed decision.  I don't mean to worry you all, I am very safe where I am it's just when I start my travels back to Rome in a few weeks that's where it gets a bit tricky.  I have been trying to not dwell on it too much and trying my best to stay AWAY from the news because none of it is ever good or uplifting.  I needed something uplifting this week, and I'm sure many of you saw the extremely gorgeous flowers that were delivered to my room by a local flower shop.  Brent sent me flowers in a foreign country!!  I couldn't believe it!  The love from him and my family is so palpable to me.  I feel it coursing through me with every breath I take and it provides me with so much courage and reassurance to live fearlessly.  The more I think of all this the more I realize that the ultimate question is "Am I moved by fear or hope and faith?" It's so hard when you are in the midst of fear to remove yourself from the situation and have a rational perspective but that is what I am trying so hard to do during my time here.  This question permeates other parts of my life as well, and I remind myself of these similarities.  Everything we do in life is a calculated risk: I crossed the street today, I could have been hit by a car but I wasn't.  I have risked something fearful every day of my life, whether that be intangible things such as failure, or very tangible things such as the tower in Bologna.  Fear is a powerful driving force.  It is one of the most powerful motivators known to man, and the fact that people use this against the masses is absolutely despicable and evil.  Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest as it had been heavy on my heart recently.  The flowers are not the only things which has lifted me up this week.  The staff at the hotel took pity on me and let me stay until the school opened on Sunday evening, which was a blessing.  I decided to bring games into the classroom not only to allow the students to be kids, but because I needed to see the pure joy they exude when they do something so fun in the classroom.  I try to use their child-like joy to inspire my heart to lighten the load that it accumulates in the "adult world".  It is so healing to laugh with them and to join in their excitement only elicited when I ask Justin Beiber related jeopardy questions :) I have also been running and going to the gym a lot more.  This week is Thanksgiving in the states and I am so sad I will be missing that time with my family.  I plan on kissing the worn, famous PDX carpet when I land in a few weeks, until then I am praying for peace, and a little less stress.  Did I mention I am a chronic worrier?  Ya, I am.  I am searching for the remedy.  If anyone has something something that isn't Xanax I would appreciate it, I am open for suggestions!  Haha

Love and light,

Linsey