The Answer

Good Afternoon Friends!  My mind has been buzzing with thoughts and ideas since my last post.  When I was stuck on coming up with an even thirty "Things I Have Learned" in Italy the last one came to me out of no where and struck me as special.  I said "I am of service to the world."  Now why, why did this have such a profound impact on my thoughts the last few days?  I think it's because I have finally answered the question I think all 20-somethings are trying to figure out.  It is a conundrum that confounds even the smartest people, even people who have every opportunity open to them.  Having every opportunity open might even make it harder on someone because the question I am referring to is "What is my passion, and how can I allow that passion to make a difference in the world?"  I feel like we are all striving to find our place in a world were there are so many opportunities to do things that will bring positivity and light to the world, but there are also so many temptations of youth that bring the highs of temporary "happiness".  Temporary happiness is not sustainable and is usually accompanied by substances or people who have a false sense of joy and pleasure.  I feel like having this time has made me realize that I finally know the answer to this question.  I finally know where I belong, what my passions are, and I have the tools and work ethic to get me there.    School is only a piece of the puzzle.  So many people I know have gone years of their life trying to answer the ultimate question of young adulthood, and are a lot of the time disappointed when they find out they are either not passionate enough about the work, they didn't have the confidence in themselves to push for something they truly wanted, or they just don't have enough experience to realize any passion.  If I know anything it's that doing anything without passion, or half-heartedly will always bring about mediocre results.  My advice for those people who are struggling is this: Don't settle for dedicating your life to something that doesn't make your heart sing.  Whether that be parenthood, a job, or even a hobby just make sure it makes you come alive.  Wait for it.  You will know when you find it.  I have been lucky enough to find mine in the form of teaching.  Teaching and helping students with language, hearing, and other delays or difficulties is what makes me come alive.  It makes me feel empowered, helpful, and passionate.  For example, today in class there is a student who has Cerebral Palsy, and he is in one of my classes.  He always has an assistant with him and does his own work in class.  I hadn't tried to speak with him yet, but today I asked a staff member what his name was, and so I went up to him and said "Ciao, Alex!!" And he responded with a muffled "Ciao."  The staff around him were in shock that he had responded in such a way.  I think he is non verbal, but I'm not 100% sure because I didn't have a translator.  It gave me the greatest joy since I've been here, and made me cry happy tears.  This happiness is not the temporary form, this happiness is all encompassing.  It is one that I expect to fill me up and leave me feeling whole for the rest of my life.  I love Italy, and I love this life.

Linsey    

Things I Have Learned

Ciao All!

This blog post is going to be more like a list of things I either have been reminded of or I have learned in Italy so far on this trip.  Here we go...

1.  I actually like my natural hair color. (Who would have thought!)
2.  I don't need the "essentials" I thought I did to feel beautiful.
3.  You don't need to speak the same language as someone to know the essence of that person.  Kindness is a language the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
4.  You will find overwhelmingly kind and helpful people everywhere you go.
5.  Italians are LOUD.
6.  No matter what country you are in, middle schoolers are middle schoolers.
7.  Conductors do not check if you have in fact bought a ticket on a regional train.  I have now gotten one free ride.
8.  I am much better at improvisation than I ever thought, I am able to come up with an activity on the spot in class.
9.  I love black tea.
10. Exercise will always be a necessary outlet for me, and the investment in my gym membership has been one of the best decisions I've made since being here.
11.  Food is not the enemy.
12.  Carbs are not the enemy.
13.  Pizza is it's own food group.
14.  Trying to explain English grammar rules sometimes feels like teaching a fish to walk.
15.  Italian teachers never kick their students out of class, no matter how disruptive they are. They just yell louder.
16.   I am my mother when I get frustrated.
17.  Special needs kids will always have a very special place in my heart.
18.  Travelling alone as a woman can be both the most empowering thing in the world and the most terrifying.
19.  Italians do in fact eat an ungodly amount of pasta... EVERY DAY.
20.  My family will always be number one to me, and have such a giant piece of my heart.
21.  I am much more introverted and self-sufficient than I ever gave myself credit for.
22.  Positive affirmations can strengthen belief in yourself.
23.  I talk fast?
24.  I rely too much on my phone for entertainment purposes at home.
25.  I don't know half the things I thought I knew to be true.
26.  Just because people do something differently doesn't mean it's wrong.
27.  Almost everything bought in Italy is made in Italy, which is why they are able to be so successful as a country and the reason why there are civilizations who have been here for centuries.  They have to be doing something right.
28.  I do not need even a quarter of the clothes I own.
29.  The things that were important in my adolescence were so very superficial.
30.  I am of service to the world.

Ok that's it for now.  Love you all!!

Linsey

I Wonder if People Think I'm Actually Homeless...

Ciao Everyone!  So currently I am sitting on a bench outside my school it is 7:30pm, I just checked out of my hotel for the weekend and apparently I did so a little too early because I am now here and there is no one here to let me in!  Whoops.  Every day is an adventure right?  The city really comes alive here at night.  It's very strange because all the shops and businesses close for an hour or two in the afternoon and most aren't even open in the morning unless there is coffee involved.  I really wanted some fruit to snack on today at around 2:00 and I couldn't find anything open.  It also didn't help that it was Sunday on top of that because everything is also closed on Sundays.  Anyway, my weekend was relatively uneventful.  It was the first weekend I was all by myself and I can say that I now know my town a little better!  I love Macerata, I really couldn't have asked for a better placement all around.  Although Italy is very safe, I have learned that being by myself is a bit more stressful than with others.  Italian men are notoriously forward and since I don't know how to politely say "Thank you for the compliment now leave me alone" in Italian it can kind of get tricky.  I had a man pull his car over to tell me I'm beautiful and ask me to get a drink.  I had more incidences like that this weekend than I have the entire rest of my trip, it was very strange.  I think that is one of the most unfortunate reasons women don't travel alone, and it is such a pity  Anyway, I have plans next weekend to spend some time in Bologna with Katie and then we are going to go to some really cool caves where I will be going on a "red level tour" meaning it will be advanced and involve some rock climbing.  These caves are world famous, I am very excited!  I hope that I can try out some hiking in the area before I leave too.  It has been a lifelong dream of mine to travel to Greece and see Athens, I feel like I would be cheating myself by not attempting to visit since I am so close, but the economic and social climate is not very good right now.  Because of the Syrian crisis and the vast number of refugees entering Greece, I feel like it might not be the best time for me to be there.  While I am here though, my Italian is improving!  I am proud of myself because I had an actual conversation with the maids this week, which was one of my goals for the week.  I get better at Italian every day which is very exciting to me.  I've always been jealous of the people who have traveled to foreign countries and were able to pick up the language, and now I get to have that experience!!  It's such an amazing shift of the mind, I'm not sure what it is like for others but for me when I speak in Italian I feel like a different person.  Their grammar structure is different, everything makes a whole heck of a lot more sense on a practical standpoint.  English is hard and it's confusing.  I honestly feel bad trying to teach the students sometimes because there is no "universal rule" how to do anything in English.  There are always so many exceptions.  Italian is so beautiful, I really hope to know quite a bit by the time I leave.  I have been reading the book my mom sent me, which is Amy Poeler's memoir.  It is really making me think about some things I should be focusing on while I am here, and as I return home in a few months.  I just finished a chapter on forgiveness and it really spoke to me.  In her words, your ego and your heart are a lot of the times at odds with one another when we try to forgive.  The brain wants to make the point that it is right no matter what, and your heart wants to mend the brokenness and heal the wounds inflicted on others in your path to righteousness.  I thought that was a powerful idea and one that I will keep with me forever.  Never left words unspoken, life is just too dang short.  Let your heart win, I promise your pride will be okay :)  Anyhow, I am very excited to start the new week and for my trip next weekend.  I feel as independent and confident as ever and I will challenge myself to be the best me possible.

"Inner peace can be reached only when we practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past, and is therefore the means for correcting our misperceptions." -Gerald Jampolsky

Amore,

Linsey

Giving and Recieving Joy

Ciao Everyone!!  Today has been one of the most joyful days since I've been in Italy, and that is because I got the sweetest care package from Brent and my family.  Brent made the sweetest slideshow with pictures of him and his nephew Karston who went to the pumpkin patch with his sister and his mom.  Oh my gosh my heart is so happy,  I feel renewed, I feel loved, I feel so so blessed.  I am excited also because next week I get to start my lessons surrounding  Halloween and I will be giving out some American candy which I think they will enjoy :) This weekend I am meeting up with some friends on the coast for dinner but mostly I will stay in Macerata and try to save a little money.  I am going to try to visit the art galleries and museums in town, go for a few runs, and just generally get to choose what I eat which is nice.  I was just telling my grandma on the phone how it's amazing to wake up here every morning and take in the views of the buildings and the countryside.  The school is 4 stories high and it's on a hill so I'm pretty sure I have one of the best views in the city.  Along with being able to treasure my many blessings in the last few days I have also been reflecting on the last year of my life.  So much has changed for me.  My college days ended, I started a new job, I found Brent again, I completed my first triathlon, 10K, and challenging hike, I moved across the world, and I began one of the most rewarding experiences as a javelin coach at LCC. It wasn't until I got here that I got to appreciate how much growth has occurred in this last year and how that has impacted me as a person.  I feel on top of the world and so much more ready to take on any challenge ahead.  I have began to apply for graduate programs back home and I am so excited about that new adventure come 2016.  I also have had some time to do a lot of video evaluations and I've started preparing for when I get back and get to start coaching again.  I am so lucky that the people back home are so incredibly supportive and that I have at least two jobs waiting for me when I return :). This is a good week to get a few of those little things done since I am not travelling.  I am trying to plan a cool trip to the southern part of Italy in the upcoming weeks because I am dying to see the Mediterranean and I've heard it's gorgeous.  I also plan to go to Milan in the next few weeks with my roommate so that should be fun.  It's so funny the staff at the school are so kind and love my roommate and I.  When the cooks serve us our meals they always say "Ahhhh the American girls!!  You like?" They are so sweet, and of course respond with a "Si!!" I am pretty sure they know no English beyond that but it is so nice when they try.  I have found that a lot of Italians are embarrassed to talk to me because they say they are really bad at English when in fact their English is 1000x better than my Italian will ever be and yet I have no shame in butchering their beautiful language. Ha!  The kids are so sweet and still so excited to see me every morning.  They all yell "Good morning!!" so enthusiastically when they see me (regardless if it is morning or not), obvious pride beaming from their eyes because they are able to greet me in my language.  It is seriously the most precious thing in the world.  I am excited to share Thanksgiving with them and to show them some pumpkin patch pictures and maybe some old family Halloween photos.  I definitely won't be showing them pictures of when my mom dressed like a clown one year though, I don't want them getting the wrong idea that all Americans dress super creepy. Haha!  Anyway, this week as a whole has been so refreshing and inspiring.  I needed the pick-me-up I received in the form of a care package.  My main thoughts going into next week are to try to loosen up just a little and have fun with the kids.  Try to make the students laugh and enjoy their time with me even more than they already are, play games, and just get to know them on a kid level.  It's so fun to experience what a child's life is like across the world.  Child-like joy is a phenomenon that is universal, and I love that revelation.  I hope they remember their English teacher as someone who brought joy and inspiration to their lives.

"Kids don't remember what you try to teach them, they remember what you are." -Jim Hensen

*European fun fact of the day!  Did you know that in European restaurants you pay for water?  And did you know that in order to use a public bathroom you also pay a fee?  Yes, just a few things I am missing from the U.S.


Ciao!
Linsey

Venice

Ciao friends!!  I am currently on the train back from an amazing, beautiful, inspiring, busy, and expensive weekend in Venice.  I had the absolute best time there and I met some awesome people I now have the privilege of calling my friends.  I started the weekend leaving by train in Macerata Friday morning and arriving in Venice at about 2 pm.  The train ride was long and boring because there isn’t even wifi but I got a lot of reading and sleeping in which I can never complain about.  When Ariana and I finally got there we were met by another program participant, Breanne, and later by Whitney.  Friday night was spent checking into our Airbnb, eating, and finally checking out some of the sights.  St.Mark’s Basilica and San Marco Square are incredibly beautiful, especially in the evening when there is a light shining on them just right.  We decided we would go back to our Airbnb and get up really early on Saturday to accomplish most of our sightseeing and adventures.  Saturday we spent the morning taking the ferry to Burano Island which is famous for their colorful houses and their lace-making.  The sights did not disappoint!  The ferry ride was scenic and the lace was the most beautiful I had ever seen.  I ended up getting a lace scarf which I am in love with!  When we arrived back in Venice we decided to take a gondola ride which turned out to be a lot of fun and we climbed to the top of St. Mark’s Basilica.  My favorite dish I tried in Venice is definitely their gelato and their pizza, although I think pizza is really hard to mess up. Ha!  We got back to our Airbnb pretty early but we had been on our feet all day so it felt good to go to bed a little earlier.  That brings us to today, Sunday.  We woke up late, had some pizza for lunch and just window shopped all day.  Venice is definitely a place I want to share with Brent because it is not like anything else in the world.  The entire city is on water.  The canals, the greenery, and the streets are truly one of a kind even for Italy.  I was so busy all weekend I barely had time to process how I am experiencing a truly once in a lifetime trip.  It wasn’t until I left my friends, got on my train, turned on my music and started to listen to my music that it all kind of started to sink in.  The first song that came on shuffle was “Home” by Phillip Phillips.  The lyrics so perfectly describe what I have been trying to put into words in this experience. “Settle down, it’ll all be clear.  Don’t pay no mind to the demons they fill you with fear.  The trouble it might drag you down, if you are lost you can always be found.   Just know you’re not alone, cause I’m going to make this place your home.”  It’s like he’s saying no matter who you are, or where you are in the world you will be able to find people who are there to lift you up, to help you, to make you feel at home.  Until now have never had proof of that.  Brent also said something to me the other day that has stuck with me and rung true to me.  He said that he is happy I’m doing this because “it’s more good for me than bad for him.”  He also said that I’ve sort of internally made a bucket list of what I want to accomplish in this last year and this was the last one on the list.  To not accomplish this would be to rob myself of my potential, and of my dream.  I seriously had an ah-hah movement when he said that because it’s so true.  This has been something I’ve wanted to do for a few years and it’s taken other’s beliefs combined with belief in myself to get myself here.  I could never repay the people in my life in all they’ve given me in that regard.  Every accomplishment I have ever made I attribute at least 90% to my parents because of their unwavering support and beliefs in my abilities and what I am capable of.  All I can say is that foundation has allowed me to distance myself from anyone who tries to make me believe any differently about myself.  I can never thank them enough for a lot of things in life but that in particular I am so so grateful for.  This week I am focusing on being a light of positivity and energy for my students.  I know that’s what I always enjoyed about my teachers at their age.  Smiling more and scowling less, even when they are loud J

“But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all more meaningful and precious.  And for that I am grateful.” –Elizabeth Edwards

Amore,

Linsey

New Normals

Buona notte!  I have a few things to catch up on in the last few days.  On Wednesday I had a challenge before me, the English teacher was absent that day and when I arrived in the hallway I was told I would be teaching 3 of her classes for the day by myself!! I didn't feel completely prepared for the task, but I just decided I would go with the flow and do the best I could and 2/3 classes were awesome!!  One of them had a hard time understanding my instructions and I just ended up babysitting for 45 minutes, but I'll take that percentage.  Pretty much all of my activities for the week were a hit and I just love seeing the student's smiling faces everyday.  It's funny because there are so many similarities to classrooms back home just in the types of students there are.  Even without being able to speak the language I can tell the popular kids, the bullies, the jocks, and the extremely bright students.  So much of what we observe in the world has nothing to do with understanding words and so much to do with being able to read contexts and situations, tones, and just overall body language.  It's a very interesting perspective I'm able to gain in this placement.  Today the school had a fire drill which was very interesting because the maids literally had to drag me down the stairs because I had no idea what they were trying t tell me. Haha! As I was writing this a siren went off in the hallway and we had ANOTHER fire drill.  It is currently like 9 at night.  I peeked my head out the door and was just like... are you kidding me right now??  I went to the gym for a good amount of time this week and was able to enjoy my first run in the park right next to the school.  It's so beautiful here.  It's no Eugene in terms of trail quality but the views just cannot be beat.  The gym has been my saving grace as far as my mental health.  It's a way for me to be able to focus all my energy into something that I know I'm good at and it's so comforting to have that home base here in Macerata.  I leave for Venice tomorrow morning and I'm super excited to see the sights and to be able to meet a few new friends along the way!  I'm starting to miss home a lot more in these last few days and yearn to talk to my family and Brent more than the time difference allows but I know it's only temporary and before I know it I'll be home and missing Italy.  I've tried a few new restaurants this week that I really enjoyed, I tried a kabap place that I have been wondering about every time I walk by and I was not disappointed!  It's always nice to get a good helping of meat when I can because it's scarce in the meals they feed us at the school.  I went to the market today and was able to pick up some healthy snacks which I was super excited about and now I am all packed and ready for another weekend adventure.  Every time someone asks where I am from and I tell them Oregon they ask about the UCC shooting and every time I just wish I could hug my sisters so tight.  It reminds me to never take life for granted and to live every moment the best way I know how, with love, kindness, and a lot of gratitude.  My thoughts going into next week are mostly to just catch myself when I start to take any of this experience for granted and to reach out of my comfort zone that I have now established here, to experience life here so much more, and to try a little harder to communicate past the Ciao, grazie, buon giorno, and prego that makes up my whole Italian vocabulary.

And also when I was having a hard time explaining something to the class I ended up using Google Translate to give instructions.  All the students cheered and I took a bow.  Then I asked them to use a present progressive verb in a sentence (a verb ending in -ing) and one student's sentence was: My teacher is using Google Translate.  Haha such a smartie! :)

"As you move outside your comfort zone, what was once the unknown and frightening becomes your new normal." -Robin S. Sharma

With Love
Linsey

Finding my Voice.

Ciao all my wonderful readers!  I know I just blogged yesterday but I was just so deep in thought today I thought I would share a little more.  In the classroom this morning I really took the reigns, and I played a game where I split the class in two and it was a competition.  I would put a statement on the board such as "My name is Linsey" and they have to produce a grammatically correct question correlating to that statement.  So their answer should be "What is your name?"  It ended up being a lot of fun and was successful at keeping them engaged!  Yay!  It's such a good feeling to execute something that I just came up with.  After class I went on a walk around time and ran a few errands.  I have so much time to think about everything here and I came to a realization today that brought tears to my eyes.  Here I am unapologetically myself.  I have no one that has expectations of who I should be, and I don't hold myself to a standard of what others have set for me.  I do what I think is right and I believe in myself.  For the longest time I think the thing that really has held me back is trying so so very hard to please everyone around me.  I am a notorious people pleaser, to the detriment of myself a lot of times.  There are a lot of people in this world that are ready and willing to take advantage of someone who is self sacrificing, which leaves little room for my own wants and needs.  I am so much more comfortable doing what others tell me to do and not having my own voice or opinion.  Being here I am starting to hear my own inner voice.  It's getting louder and clearer and I believe that it has something important to say.  I believe that if I let it, it can lead me wherever I wish to go in life.  I feel lucky because I know I am not alone in this and I have had the privilege to take the time to take an uninterrupted look at this problem.  Although I will be a learner for the rest of my life, the ability to teach others and be confident in my knowledge and my voice is really a big step to becoming a better coach, a better teacher, and a better human being.  One thing I will always try to instill in others is to stand up for their voice and that if educated, their voice is heir most powerful gift they are given and the most powerful gift they can give to others.  Sorry to be so philosophical on you all.  I am so excited to visit Venice this weekend!  It should be a great trip and maybe I might even take a gondola ride, but I might just save that for when Brent gets here.  Just under 2 months!!  Time is seriously flying by.

“ Nothing that I can do will change the structure of the universe. But maybe, by raising my voice I can help the greatest of all causes—goodwill among men and peace on earth.” ~ Albert Einstein

I love you all,

Linsey  

Finding Home

Buon Giorno!!  I am now back in Macerata in my dorm, my working week starts tomorrow because of testing going on this week.  It was so funny after a weekend away, coming back to this little town was a lot like coming home.  All the sights, people, and places are so familiar to me and it's actually very comforting.  Not to say a big city isn't fun for a while but this experience has really made me realize that a smaller atmosphere will always be home to me.  The fact that I have been able to make myself feel at home here has proven that I am much more adaptable and self-sufficient than I have ever given myself credit for.  I feel like I fit in here even though I don't speak the language and that is proof just how welcoming Italian people are.  They are bright lights of kindness and selflessness, which I hope to emulate for the rest of my life.  If there is one thing I've learned so far it's that things here are quite expensive, but that is because I have been eating out a lot.  The school feeds me for the most part but I don't even want to admit to myself how much money I have spent on food in Florence alone.  I however just took a trip to the local market where I picked up some snacks like trail mix, fruit, and some crackers and the trip in America would probably leave me with a 20-30 dollar bill.  Here, it came to under 5 euro!!  Wow, people can eat well here for very cheap.  I wish I had access to a fridge to keep healthier snacks but that's okay, I will work with what I am given.  I am very grateful for what I am given in fact :).  Today I went to the gym for the second time since signing up and man I am going to be sore tomorrow.  All the treadmills and really everything is based off the metric system so I have to figure out how to convert kilometers/hour into min/mile, and note to self I cannot do math while exercising.  Ha!  I ended up going starting out with 10.5 kilometers/hour and ended with 12.5 kilometers/hour and I calculated it out that I was averaging 8.5 minute miles which is actually pretty accurate to what I SHOULD be running.  Anyway, it's a beautiful day outside and after I run a few errands I might go for another run in the beautiful park right down the street.  Grube and my dad would love this park, it has a 450 meter track lining the outside and I think I might do some intervals. :) This weekend I am jetting off again on another adventure.  I am meeting up with a few other girls who are teaching in surrounding towns and we are all going to Venice!  I leave Friday and I have to do a little research on what I want to see and do while I'm there.  Again, every time I look around I see so much beauty and every time I think about and realize my heart and my mind growing here I get so happy and humbled.  My perspective on life is being molded into this worldly outlook, and the things that I find important are being put into perspective.  There is more than one way to view the world and seeing the world through an Italian lens has made me savor everything more, whether that be food, music, art, or even interactions with people.  It has humbled me in the fact that I have to try so hard to communicate and to understand others and them me.  It's like a light has turned on that I didn't even know was there, and that is the most incredible thing to happen since I've been here.

Fun Italy fact for the day!  Italians hate it when people don't wear shoes at really any time. I got scolded like a week ago because I wore my socks into the bathroom. Lol bad Linsey!!

"Everyday is a journey, and the journey itself is home." -Matsuo Basho

Ciao!

Linsey

Perfectly Imperfect

Hi Friends!  I am currently in my hostel in Florence, wrapping up an amazing weekend exploring and eating some delicious Florentine cuisine.  My trip started with a 4 hour train ride from Macerata.  There were 2 stops on the way to change trains, one in Ancona a one in Bologna before finally landing in Florence.  I was nervous at first because I had never stayed in a hostile but this place is seriously so nice.  The staff is very helpful and it is central to all of the major sights in the city.  Our first day here we mostly just walked around for a bit.  Katie and I wanted to go on a walking tour but we were too late in trying to buy our ticket so instead we bought passes to take a pizza and gelato cooking class.  It was SO much fun and I can't wait to get home to try out my pizza making skills!  During the cooking class we sat next to a family who were on a "Make a Wish" trip for their son who dreams of one day being a chef.  They were so joyful and you could just tell they were soaking up every moment with one another.  It really was inspiring and beautiful and something that I needed to remind me how precious life is and how very lucky I am for my health and my ability to live the amazing life that I do.  After the cooking class we sat at a restraint and enjoyed some of the most wonderful and famous Chianti red wine and people watched for a while.  It's so funny to see all the differences between touristy areas such as Florence versus where I live in Macerata.  Here everything is so Americanized, I feel like you don't get a true taste of Italian life even though it's super fun here.  Yesterday we did more walking, we visited Dante's house from Dante's inferno which was very interesting.  We popped in to see a few art museums and went on a wine and cheese tasting tour where I had some the best olive oil I've ever tasted.  The balsamic vinegar here is incredible as well!  I bought an authentic Italian leather purse while I was here which I love.  Today we are going to see the statue of David before we catch a train back to Macerata.  This weekend has been so amazing, it's really been a treat to see a bustling Italian city but I am ready to head back and get back in the gym. :) Oh ya, and yesterday I passed a man wearing a duck hat and I exchanged a "Go Ducks" which I really appreciated,  All these new experiences are just opening my eyes more and giving me the confidence to go out on my own a bit more.  My thoughts for this week are just to give the best effort I can to help my students and not being afraid to ask for help, because reflecting on the past week in school it has been tough.  I plan to give my 100% to help them be engaged.  I also have to remember that beating yourself up about anything is not going to benefit anyone. If there is one thing I've learned over the past year it's that you have to always let your best be enough.  If I know I've given 110% I have to let that be enough walking away.

“There is no perfection, only beautiful versions of brokenness.”

Ciao!

Linsey

Living in the Moment

Good Afternoon from Italy!  These last few days haven't been as easy in the classroom.  I think the excitement somewhat wore off and my attempts to keep their attention were not as successful, especially once we started to work on "boring stuff" like grammar, conjugating verbs, and practicing possessives.  I really challenged myself to come up with things to do that would keep them engaged but just culturally the children are rowdy and restless.  It's definitely something I need to plan for and that is my goal for next week, to keep them engaged a bit more.  I feel like my mother, except they probably don't understand that I am scolding them because I am doing so in English. :)  I am however pretty proud of myself, I've been out running errands around town and I have challenged myself to try to communicate with people in Italian.  Who knew it would feel so rewarding to ask a store clerk where the shampoo is and how much it costs?  Haha that's been my excitement for the week.  I am super excited to visit Florence tomorrow and see the beautiful sights!  The weekend after next I will be going to Venice.  Isn't my life grand?  I am just overwhelmed by the amount of people who have reached out to tell me they enjoy reading my blog.  I didn't know it would be so popular and I am so flattered that I am not sitting here typing to myself. :) The maids at the school are such sweethearts, they try so hard to communicate and half the time I just sit there and nod my head, having no idea what I am agreeing with.  I have come to the conclusion that kindness is not seen or heard because I feel so much kindness around me without having understood anything.  However, I did just ask them where the towels were located though and they understood!  That's a feat because Katie and I have been using scarves as towels the last few days.  The food the school has been making us this week has been so interesting.  Last night we had pasta with a creamy sauce and mushrooms and it was delicious!  The school food is always given in two courses, the first is always some sort of pasta and the second is usually a salad and some sort of meat.  It's always so so good.  It puts the American school food to shame.  We did some exploring later at night the other day and Macerata really comes alive at night!  Store's business hours are really weird most of the time, they are open really late and usually close down a few hours early during the afternoon.  I can't tell you how many times I have gone to get something and the store ends up being closed.  I signed up for the gym this week!!  I'm so excited to use some of these carbs I am taking in.  I had my first workout Thursday and that was the first night I slept through the night.  It's taking me a lot longer to adjust to the time difference than I was expecting.  My main thoughts at the end of this week is just how much time I spend at home really living in the moment and being present.  Here most of the time I don't have the option to use my phone or be talking to people 24/7.  That break has really opened my eyes to how much real life I have been missing out on looking at a screen.  Now that is the only way I can connect with my loved ones, but when I get home that is something I am going to try and be better at.  I hope everyone had a great week and I will update everyone on beautiful Florence!

"Love the moment and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries." -Corita Kent

Ciao!
Linsey

Exploring with Confidence

Bueno sera friends!  Today was very cool in a lot of ways.  I once again entered new classes, was introduced to the students, and listened and corrected grammar and pronunciation as appropriate.  I am excited because next week I get to really delve into some activities I have planned for the students.  Emanuela says that above anything else my role is to just have conversations with the students.  They learn grammar and write in their textbooks all the time with her but this is their only opportunity to really get to talk to a native speaker.  That puts a lot less pressure on me.  I am so surprised how comfortable I feel in front of the class.  My level of confidence through this experience is really astonishing.  I have figured out if I have the confidence, know and project that I belong there I can make others believe the same.  It's all about how much you believe in yourself and if I have learned anything in the last few years that confidence is the greatest gift you can give to yourself.  Similarly, I went out for the first time truly by myself today and just explored the town a bit more (I'm sorry Brent I know you cringe to hear that you worry wart) and I have realized that if I pretend I know where I'm going and what I am doing people are less likely to stare so much.  I'm not sure if there is some sort of "American" stamp on my forehead but I feel like I stand out.  I guess mostly because of my height.  Oh well, I guess I will get used to it. Italians are very complimentary, though.  Ever since I got here people have just randomly told me how beautiful I am and how much they love my blonde hair which I think is funny because my hair is currently in a state of grow-out because I am not dying it anymore.  I just respond with an awkward grazie and try to move on haha.  Yesterday I made a trip to the pharmacy to get some cold medicine because this sickness is kicking my butt.  I felt nervous taking it because the package is in Italian and it's a drug but I finally did and man I wish we could get whatever this is in the states because it is magic!  On my trip I also bought Malala's autobiography and started in on it and I am already so glad I did.  I feel like I am on this Eat, Pray, Love journey and I am so inspired by other strong women who fight for what they want.  Her fight was for education and it's really making me think about the privileges of America's education system, and how incredibly lucky I am to get the chance to experience education across the globe.  American's idea of what is important in life is not universal and I think that realization is one of the most powerful ones I will take from this experience. 

I am off to another afternoon class.  I am so surprised and happy to hear all the people who enjoy reading my thoughts throughout this, it means a lot! 

“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit” -E.E. Cummings

Ciao
Linsey   

Love, Grace, and Gratitude

So today is my second official day in the classroom and it went SO WELL.  The kids are truly amazing, engaged, and very good at English even though they think they are not.  Even with a language barrier these kids connect with me, ask me very meaningful questions, and have bigs hearts.  Really everyone in Italy is like this.  It's a culture that is so warm and welcoming.  The classes I was in today were different than the ones I had on Friday so I had the pleasure of introducing myself, answering questions about where I'm from, what I do for a living, what my family is like, and most importantly what kind of food I like.  Food is everything here in Italy.  It's truly the heart and soul of the people.  They are all so passionate about food and they were thrilled to hear my favorite food was pizza.  I had them explain all the different types of pizza to me and describe what their favorite foods were because honestly I need suggestions about what to try next.  A gir told me her favorite food was nutella pizza and I laughed but apparently that's a real thing.  It's like a cake.  They use bread and nutella with strawberries and whipped cream.  That my friends sounds dangerous to me... Lol.  All I keep thinking about is how all the strategies I am using in the classrooms here are going to be vital when I start my career back home.  I am so much more animated when I talk to the students.  I use a lot of hand gestures, small phrases, and pictures to get my point across even before it is translated into Italian.  They seem to understand a lot more when I use these approaches and the same goes with students who suffer from any sort of communication delay, whether than be expressive, receptive, or hearing impairments.  I am so excited to be able to practice these techniques with such enthusiastic and fun groups of students, although they are teaching me much, much more than I could ever hope to teach them.  I say that about the kiddos in Life Skills at home and I think that will be the case for every class for the rest of my career.  I consider myself so very lucky.  I'm excited because Katie and I are already planning to take a trip this weekend to Florence.  I think the best way to get there is by bus because you have like 1000 stops if you take the train, which is interesting because it looks so close on the map.  I am excited to visit the southern coast of Italy and the Mediterranean side.  I really made a great decision to come to Italy because there is SO much to see and do and the country really isn't that big.  I keep thinking God really does have a plan and that my heart was meant to grow here.  I thank the Lord everyday for calling me here.  He knows this is exactly the place I needed to be in order to learn and grow and truly know myself and what I am capable of.  I am so happy.  It's funny even now to look back on my journals from my first few days here.  How scared I was.  How unsure I was.  I am so very proud of myself and my journey and this is only the beginning.  Wow, who would of thought a year ago that I would be here?  It's really so crazy.  I count my blessings everyday and remain so grateful.  I wish I could describe in words how much this experience has already changed me but I have 10 more weeks to try. :)

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed.  Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude." -Denis Waitley

Ciao

Linsey

Civitinova and Coast Lines

So the last few days have been a whirlwind of adventure, fun, and amazing Italian food.  I can say I've tried my first taste of Italian wine, pizza, and I have rode on the autostrada which is the Italian freeway.  Katie (my roommate) and I were driven to Porto San Giorgio to attend an orientation and meet the other tutors who are also in the region.  There was a girl from Corvallis also in the program which was funny.  It was nice to meet the other tutors and to realize I'm not the only one who was nervous and anxious about this adventure.  My placement is like winning the lottery.  I my own room, the staff at the school makes my bed, washes my laundry, and cooks us meals 6 days a week and the seventh (because the school is closed on Sundays) we stay at a bed and breakfast which is super nice and right down the road.  I am really finding my way around the city now and it feels so comforting to know where everything is, how to get there, and most importantly how to ask and answer the right questions.  At the moment I am definitely picking up on more Italian and it's making me think a lot more about English and just the phrases we say, it's a very new and interesting perspective.  I am starting to miss home cooking (someone please make me an omlette)!!  I need to learn how to say that in Italian.  Not that I don't enjoy all the pasta and bread I'm eating but I was so glad to find a non-breaded chicken salad for lunch today.  The lack of protein is really starting to affect my body.  I am coming down with some sort of illness too and that coupled with sleep deprivation because of jetlag is causing my body to be under a lot of stress.  Hopefully it's just a cold and it will go away quickly.  Katie and I have had a chance to walk around and explore Macerata and my goodness, it is so beautiful.  It's such a picturesque Italian town with its cobblestone roads and beautiful architecture.  I absolutely love it.  It's the perfect balance of rural farmland and quaint city.  It's a university town so there are a lot of students around the area.  That makes it nice because the population is mostly our age.  There is something though about passing a little old Italian couple that just warms my heart.  Anyway, the fashion in Macerata is a lot like at home but a lot more conservative.  Katie and I took the train yesterday to Civitinova, a town bordering the Adriatic coast and the fashion there was very European.  I could have just sat and people watched all day because it is so interesting.  I start real classes tomorrow and I am very excited to see the students again and to work with the teacher on some activities I have planned.  I have made a Powerpoint of some pictures of my family and Eugene and some of the other "American" things about my life.  It's funny some of the stereotypes Italians have, like everyone knows a celebrity ect.  I'm not sure who spreads that rumor lol.  Anyhow, I always write before nap time and that's all I can think of for now.  There is definitely more but I'll have to save it for next time.

Ciao, Ti amo!

Linsey

Classes and Cappuccinos

Today was my first day teaching in the classroom.  I wasn't nervous at all actually because all of the students I have interacted with have been so excited to meet me and to talk to me.  Their energy is contagious and everything about gatherings, whether that be classes, meals, or conversations are LOUD.  It's a bit of organized chaos but I love it.  Middle school students in Italy are just like middle school students in America.  I can tell even though I don't understand what they are saying most of the time.  Today was all about getting to know me and asking me a ton of questions about where I live, what my favorite food, color, band, and animal is.  I actually had a hard time answering most of them and just ended up answering in ways I know they would like.  I told them my favorite band/singer was One Direction and Justin Bieber  because they LOVE them.  I think I scored brownie points for sure.  It is so refreshing to feel so welcomed and valued in the classroom and I am excited to help them in every way I can.  The Italian teacher had to translate quite a bit but they were very good about asking questions and being engaged.  She told me the way they discipline is pretty non existent unless the offense is really bad.  I found that very interesting.  There were a few spit wad flying across the room at one point. She said she struggles to find ways to reign them in at times and command respect and attention and I told her not t worry that is not just an issue in her classroom, but in classrooms across the globe.  Anyhow, I had my first taste of Italian coffee which was called caffe del luco if I remember correctly.  You get it out of a machine and oh my gosh I am not a coffee drinker in America but I officially get it.  It was so delicious!!  All the food here has been so delicious.  I feel like I am eating all carbs which my body is still adjusting to but I am just going with the flow and since Emanuela (the Italian English teacher) showed me where her gym is I think I will go check it out on Monday haha.  Oh well, yolo.  You're only in Italy once and I'm going to eat pizza everyday if I wanna.  My roommate moved in today also and she is very cool.  It's SO nice to have someone to talk to in English.  I am already picking up on more Italian and I can feel myself start to think more in Italian as time goes on and that is so exciting for me!  It however has made it very hard for me to think in coherent English sentences which is interesting.  Well that's it for now.  The views ooon my walk today were picturesque and unbelievable.  Once Brent gets here we might not ever leave.  Lol time for dinner!

I miss everyone deeply and the huge part of my heart in Roseburg is hurting.

 Con affetto

Linsey

Day One

Now I know I started this journey with the upmost confidence in my abilities to be adaptable and get through any challenge without too much trouble.  Who am I kidding, after like a billion hours of traveling and finally landing in a place where I don't speak the language, know ANYONE, or know my way around I think anyone would have a little breakdown.  Breakdown I did in my tiny Italian dorm room with the most beautiful windows I've ever seen and ceilings that are nothing short of incredible.  I thought to myself "what was I thinking?"  I was that little girl who had mental breakdowns as a child because I hated leaving home and this is the ultimate way to finally put that to rest.  I think most of the sadness was because of the isolation I felt coupled with the fact that I hadn't had more than 4 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours.  I am still trying to recover.  So to shorted my story, fast forward to 10:30am and I finally get to meet the teacher I'm helping and she is so amazing.  She is a runner, she competed on Italy's national team, she is going to show me where the local gym is, and she knows where Eugene is!!  I have never breathed a heavier sigh oguif relief.  All of the people I have met in Italy so far whether that be my new friend Katherine on the bus, or the teachers and students in Convitto, everyone has been so warm, welcoming, and helpful.  I have only been here 24 hours and I can tell Italy is a place of love, beauty, and real connections with people.  I am so excited to immerse myself in that culture and to come out the other side a more compassionate individual.  On a side note and how I am already tying these experiences to my ultimate educational goals, I can now officially say I understand what it's like for the students with a language delay in school.  What a feeling of isolation and sadness and that is just their reality every day.  My conviction to help those individuals has been strengthened.  Also, their special education system is interesting.  They have the special education students with their peers at all times with a resource teacher helping and guiding them.  In Italy the teachers are the ones who switch classrooms whereas the students just stay in one room the whole school day.  This is opening my eyes in every way possible.  And now it's time for a nap before lunch.  I miss my family and Brent terribly, but I feel renewed after such a great meeting with the English teacher.

Arrivedercci.

Also, the only thing I have picked up in Italian is "Io non parlo l'italiano, mi dispiace"
I don't speak Italian, I'm sorry.